The Madness Within
by Michy Drarry Shipper
Summary: Sirius would do anything do be with Remus. There is only one person standing in his way. Dark!Sirius, one-sided WolfStar. AU.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter.

**Dedication:** Written for the awe-inspiring Gamma, gifted as part of the _Fic-Exchange of Epic Proportions_

**Rated: **T

**Warnings:** Violence, AU, character death, dark!Sirius

**Summary: **Sirius would do anything do be with Remus. There is only one person standing in his way. Dark!Sirius, one-sided WolfStar. AU.

**Author's Note:** Thank you so much to my amazing beta reader Emily, aka percychased :)

**Also:** Entered in the _Jury of Your Peers_ competition under non-canon and submitted for Gryffindor in the _Battle of the Houses Competition_ for December prompt 7

* * *

He looked at her, his perfect cousin, across the table. She didn't know how lucky she was. How long had he thirsted for freedom, dreamed of the day when he could escape Azkaban and be with the man he loved? Against all odds, he had escaped. But she had taken him from Sirius.

How he loathed her. It was overwhelming how powerful his hatred was. It took every ounce of his self-control not to jump across the table in his Animagus form and rip apart her throat, yank out her bubble gum pink hair and watch the blood spurt out like soda from a shaken can. His self-discipline was truly admirable, as not only had he managed to be pleasant towards her, but he had also accomplished the agonising task of congratulating Remus on their engagement.

He played the part of a proud friend well, though it made him want to vomit. Each fake smile tainted him inside, until he was entirely consumed with darkness. Perhaps though, he had always been dark, and it had just taken his cousin's betrayal to make him realise it. He was a Black after all.

Sirius sat through the Order's meeting with the patience of a Saint, even making useful contributions to the discussion every now and then, all the while visualising new and torturous ways to kill her. How dare she look at Remus like that, surreptitiously holding his hand under the table? Although his dark spell arsenal was comprehensive, he was partial to methods of murder which involved his bare hands; these were more animally satisfying. Such machinations appeased him somewhat, but cruel reality always lurked tauntingly nearby to remind him that his fantasies were nothing more than that; that in this lifetime at least, he and Remus would never be together.

Hours later, Sirius slipped into Remus' room, betting that he'd be awake and alone. He'd been right. Remus was standing in front of his ensuite mirror, pulling on a pyjama singlet. Sirius' pulse jumped to see him looking so vulnerable, so tantalisingly close, yet entirely unobtainable.

"Look what I found, Moony," he called.

Remus finished washing his face and walked out. They sat side by side on the bed, Sirius melting at the proximity, and flipped through the photo album together. Remus smiled fondly at the pictures of them as teenagers, their animated images pulling funny faces and laughing mutely. Sirius savoured his reactions, especially delighted by his laughter over pictures of just the two of them.

"This is fantastic. Where did you find it?" Remus asked in his smooth, refined voice.

"In my old room," Sirius answered, grinning.

"It's good to see ourselves like this, still so young and innocent, unmarked by the war," Remus said softly.

Sirius nodded. "You know you're still as handsome as ever, Moony."

Remus laughed. "I wish I could say the same for you, Padfoot."

Sirius laughed too, knowing it was a joke, but he couldn't help feeling his insides twist at the comment anyway. Maybe if he wasn't as wrinkled and frayed as he was, Remus really would be interested in him. Not everyone could transfigure their face, not everyone could be so enviably youthful. It wasn't fair. His conversations with Remus were ruined by her, even when she wasn't physically present. Damn her to hell!

The squeak of the door disturbed Sirius from his thoughts.

"Remmy, I – Oh, hey Sirius!" it was her.

"I'll just get going," Sirius said quickly, leaving before he did something that he would – not regret, exactly, no, not regret at all. But something that he shouldn't do anyway. He stomped down the stairs, needing to get away, feeling the fury pound through his head, his body, making his hands shake. He barely registered where he was going, the urge to smash something, preferably a certain someone's skull, blinding him. He ripped open a random door, and crashed straight into a greasy-haired git.

"Get away!" he snarled.

Snape stepped back, unfazed. "Is something the matter?" he drawled.

"None of your business," Sirius snapped, pushing past him. He was in the opulently furnished study, a room often used for top secret meetings.

"I might be able to help you. In fact, I know I can, if you'll push aside your pride for once," Snape said calmly.

Sirius glared at him. "What would you know?"

Snape arched an eyebrow. "Really, Black, even if I wasn't a skilled Legilimens, I would be able to read your, how to phrase this, strong emotional attachment to Lupin."

Sirius slammed the man against the wall, holding his neck with one hand, using the other to point his wand at his face. "How dare you!" he hissed.

Snape bared his teeth and pushed Sirius back. "Pull yourself together! Do you want to have him or not? Or will you let your stupidity and stubbornness get in the way of your relationship again?"

Sirius was on the brink of cursing Snape to smithereens, but the other man's words filtered through the angry buzzing in his head. "How could you help me?"

Snape closed the door and refortified the privacy spells around the room. He sat in one of the leather armchairs and motioned for Sirius to do the same.

"How badly do you want this?" Snape demanded.

Sirius gritted his teeth. "Are you playing with me? Because if you are, I swear I –"

"If we are to continue this conversation, you will cease asking ridiculous questions. I am trying to help you, not the other way around," Snape cut in coldly.

"Why are you trying to help me? What's in it for you?" Sirius asked.

"I know what it's like to have the person you love stolen from you," Snape whispered. "Now are we through with analysing my motives?"

"Yes," Sirius replied, slightly in awe of this new side to Snape. "I'll do anything."

* * *

It was perfect. Although Sirius would have loved to kill her himself, he didn't really care who did it as long as she was finally exterminated like the vermin she was.

He and other members of the Order rushed through the long, dimly lit halls of the Ministry towards the Department of Mysteries. They were apparently intercepting Death Eaters and trying to save Harry and his friends. Sirius inwardly groaned at the stupidity of his godson, but was secretly relieved that everything was at least going to plan. Thanks to Snape's links to Voldemort, it had been quite easy to set up this little scheme. It was a win/win situation for everyone, really.

Suddenly, they burst into the cavernous space, ears assaulted with the crashing and screaming cacophony of battle, sight momentarily overcome by the flashing of wand sparks and blazing offensive spells. The Order split up as discussed, Sirius and Remus running to the left, Tonks and Snape to centre and Moody and Kingsley to the right. Sirius felt the thrill of a challenge tingle through his limbs. He engaged a random Death Eater in a duel, avoiding any spells that would be fatal if they hit their target. As they danced, Sirius and Remus were pushed back onto a raised circular platform in the centre of the Department. Sirius caught sight of Harry in his peripheral vision and allowed himself to be impressed that the boy was still standing.

A flash of frizzy brown hair caught his attention. He turned to see Bellatrix, his deranged, yet at this moment, utterly beautiful cousin, weaving her way towards Tonks. He couldn't look away, as wand raised, eyes wide, Bellatrix snarled those two fateful words.

"Avada Kedavra!"

Time seemed to stretch, as Sirius watched Tonks crumple into a lifeless heap on the cold stone floor, like a marionette with its strings cut. Sirius turned to face Remus, feeling a rush of ecstasy swirl through his entire body. Remus was collapsed onto his knees, a look of unbearable pain etched across his heavenly face. His eyes were transfixed on the body of his fallen fiancée, all their lustre evaporated, his skin colour drained to a sickly white.

Sirius' heart twisted. No, it wasn't supposed to be like this. They were supposed to be happy now, together, without anything or anyone to keep them apart. But Remus looked broken. Sirius felt as though he'd been kicked in the gut, as Remus' pain became his own.

Suddenly, he saw Bellatrix skipping towards them, wand poised high over her head. In an instant, he realised what she was about to do. He threw himself in front of Remus. The deadly beam of green light shot him in the chest and he finally slipped completely into the blackness of his soul, the vision of his love's ashen face the last thing he ever saw.

* * *

**A/N:** Reviews make my day :)


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